Marriage and Divorce : Separation is a two-step process.

Perhaps the most difficult part of a divorce is the initial separation. This is because there is usually great emotional pain associated with the breakdown of a marriage. Marital Separation is a TWO STEP PROCESS: -

1. The decision to separate; and
2. The actual physical separation itself.

Neither step is easy, especially if the desire to separate is not a mutual one.

The Decision

Even if both parties know that the marriage has been rocky for some time, one party announcing to the other that he or she wants a divorce, can still be quite devastating. It means that in spite of the promises made to each other when they first got married, this person is effectively saying that they don't love or want the other person anymore.

Rejection is seldom pleasant, depending on how you react to it. It certainly disturbs a person's emotional wellbeing and can be extremely damaging and debilitating if you let it.

Where the decision to separate is yours, you are likely to be more prepared psychologically for the news than your partner. These days, lots of women are "choosing" to separate and divorce rather than tolerate a rocky marriage. They are no longer happy in the relationship and are not willing to settle for less. These women often have the advantage, over other women, of being financially independent of the other spouse.

Even where the decision to separate does come from you, it will probably be as a result of a lot of soul-searching, heartache and agony. Such important decisions are seldom made lightly and often come at critical times in a marriage.

Some couples simply grow apart. Others were not well suited to begin with. It may be that the relationship has merely reached its "use-by date". We should not beat ourselves over the head or necessarily feel guilty. It is a pretty big order to expect two young people, in love, to make a

We should not beat ourselves over the head or necessarily feel guilty. It is a pretty big order to make a pledge to one another for life when they so often lack, because of their young years, the

life experience to be fully informed of what is involved to really make a marriage work, for life. It should also be remembered that there are only two people in the world who truly understand the sexes unfortunately, nobody knows who they are!!

© Barry J. Roche

Barry Roche is the founder of the Womens Divorce Help Club and the author of numerous divorce articles and ebooks including, “How To “Win” When Facing Divorce”. He is a former Family Law Specialist who wrote this book specifically for women. The book is available for purchase at http://www.divorceandwomen.com/help.html.

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Note: This article is based on an extract from Barry's book, "How To Win When Facing Divorce".