Below
is a heart-rendering true story which we hope
will give all victims of domestic violence, the
courage to do something about their own personal
situation BEFORE it is too late.
I
Have Already Lost One Child. Please Help
Me Not To Lose Another
By
Barry
J. Roche
I
once acted for a woman who had four children,
ALL of whom were the victims of extreme domestic
violence. In fact, by the time she came to see
me, she had already lost her eldest son to suicide
brought about through the abuse inflicted by his
father.
I
will never forget her distress and sorrow or the
heart-wrenching plea she made to me as a lawyer.
She was a domestic violence statistic and so were
her three remaining children. With tears streaming
down her face she begged me for help saying:“I
have already lost one child. Please help me not
to lose any more.”
I
promised her that I would do everything in my power
to not only protect the children but her as well.
Indeed, I couldn’t realistically do otherwise.
This was one of the worst domestic violence cases
I had come across. Where a spouse is the victim
of domestic violence, then the children are also.
The psychological impact on children of knowing
that one of their parents is abusing the other is
not to be underestimated.
The
oldest son, who was seventeen years old, had jumped
off the balcony of the top floor of a high-rise
set of Units. He had taken the brunt of the abuse
to try and protect his three younger sisters from
it. Mum was the recipient of vicious spousal abuse
and beatings – she couldn’t really help
him. It all got too much and this young man decided
that life was too horrible to bear.
There was only one way I could protect the other
three children and their mother. It meant relocating
them, changing their identities and obtaining Restraining
Orders (based on domestic violence law) that the
father be PROHIBITED from having ANY contact at
all with them. I remain thankful to the Principal
and staff of the children’s school, the Lutheran
Church and the Women’s Shelter for the extraordinary
steps they all went to so that I could deliver on
the promise that I made to them and their mother.
Some
months later the mother and children contacted me.
They were so happy with their new life and couldn’t
thank me enough. Everyone was completely different.
No longer were the children tearful, fearful, stressed
or depressed but relaxed, bright, witty and looking
forward to life.
I
sat quietly at my desk and reflected on the oldest
boy. Although I never had the pleasure of meeting
him, I realised why he took his own life. He knew
that a life lived in fear was bad enough………….but
a life without hope was no life at all.
© Barry J. Roche
|
Barry
Roche is the founder of the Womens Divorce
Self-Help Club and the author of numerous
divorce articles and ebooks including, “How
To Win When Facing Divorce”. He is a
former Divorce Lawyer who wrote this book
specifically to help women not just survive
divorce, but come out not feeling a victim.
The book is available for purchase at
http://www.divorceandwomen.com/help.html.
(This
article may be reproduced provided it is unedited,
the copyright is acknowledged and the information
in the resource box and links are published
with it.) |
Note:
This article is based on an extract from Barry's
book, "How To Win When Facing Divorce".
Do-It-Yourself
