CHILD CUSTODY LAW

The impact of parents separating is naturally significant on any child or children of those parents. When we think emotions, fear is one of our strongest. When children are used to living with both parents and then, all of a sudden they find themselves having to live with only one of them, they frequently experience a very high degree of "fear and uncertainty".

This is one reason why courts put significant emphasis on "temporary custody orders" or informal custody arrangements". A full custody battle may take a year or more and any children of the marriage need to have some certainty in the meantime. Deciding to leave the house AND the children with your husband is likely to work against you IF you want the children living with you in the long run!

Staying put in the marital home with the children (in other words insisting that your husband move out and into alternative premises) means that the effect of separation on the children is reduced - same house and surroundings, same school, same friends and routine. Courts tend to be reluctant to change this status quo, in the abscence of good reasons for doing so.

One exception to this may be where domestic violence against you and/or the children is involved. Another may be where sexual abuse of your child or children is concerned. Your personal safety and the physical, emotional and psychological health of the kids take precedence over everything else. Seek appropriate advice and help from a child custody attorney. You may need a Domestic Violence Protection Order AND an Order for sole and exclusive occupancy of the former marital home - in addition to an interim custody order! In other words, if you have to get out to protect you or the children .. do so. You can then apply to the court for orders that he vacate so you and the children can move back in.

When it comes to choosing a child custody lawyer, you'll find that a Divorce Lawyer is, by definition, a child custody attorney as well. This is simply because divorce is very often concerned about child custody law, the welfare of the children and who they are going to be living with. Consequently, a California child custody lawyer (for example) is generally just another name for a California divorce lawyer.

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CHILD CUSTODY FORM

A child custody form can be fairly straight forward. However, the Forms relating to child custody law vary. To find links to a Child Custody Form and forms relating to other separation and divorce matters, just click on your State.

Child Custody Form - All US States

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho

Kentucky Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi

Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon

Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming

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You either stay separated "under the same roof", move out yourself or apply to the court for an interim order that you have sole and exclusive occupancy of the house. If after obtaining such an Order you husband fails to stay away, you may need to go back to court to get a restraining order.

Of course, with so many women in the workforce these days and men taking a more active and caring role in the lives of their children, joint custody arrangements are becoming more common. There are parents who separate amicably and make joint decisions with regards to the welfare of the kids. If you're lucky enough to be in this situation - don't screw it up. Be reasonable and as objective as possible.

We highly recommend that you seek a bit of professional counselling advice to help you deal with your emotions in a way that won't interfere with or negatively impact on your objective decision-making processes. Just 10 or 15 minutes with a trained psychologist or counsellor can be very worthwhile. Remember, as Barry Roche says is his book "How To Win When Facing Divorce", it is how you handle YOUR REACTION to what's taking place that makes all the difference!

The #1 Book On Separation & Divorce For Women

The term "Custody" really refers to the person who is to have the daily care, possession and control of the child or children of a marriage. The term "Access" refers to the other party's visitation rights. "Guardianship" refers to the people who have the say when it comes to issues affecting the "long term" welfare of the kids, such as in matters of their health, education and religion. In many jurisdictions, these terms have been replaced with other terms such as "Residency Orders" or "Parenting Rights". The reason behind this was to break away from the concept of "ownership" which the term "custody" tended to convey.

Many people don't realise it but denial of access or not affording reasonable visitation rights (much more so than "custody") is one of the single most causes of child abduction or domestic violence-related deaths. A parent faced with no contact with their children gets extremely irritated. This is one reason why there must be exceptional circumstances before the court will deny access completely. Another reason, equally important, is the fact that "access" has long been viewed as a "right of the child" rather than a "right of the non-custodial parent". In order to take away a child's rights, the court must be satisfied that it is truly in the child's best interests for this to happen. Poor parents or even in-frequent parents are still considered to be "better than no parents at all". For a real-life example of when total contact with children will be denied, read Article # 3: “I Have Already Lost One Child. Please Help Me Not To Lose Another".

Wherever possible, try to reach a reasonable arrangement with your spouse. Family Law litigation is an expensive exercise and costly, contested custody or access battles only tend to inflame things. As children grow up, they are afforded more say in where they want to live and how often they want to have contact with the other parent. Spending $15,000 on a custody fight only to have the child decide for herself or himself, when she or he is a bit older, that he or she wants to now go and live with Dad can be a bitter pill to swallow. As children grow up, their needs and preferences change. Courts are reluctant to make custody and access orders against the wishes of children who the court knows will not take any notice of them any way - courts want to appear to be effective whether they are or they aren't!

To find out about Parenting Alienation Syndrome - CLICK HERE 

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DISCLAIMER: - The legal information on this website is not a substitute for legal advice. Each case depends on its own merits and you should consult an attorney for specific legal advice in relation to your particular case.